It is not surprising that lack of intimacy is the fourth most common reasons for divorce in Singapore because it is an essential part of any marriage. However, there seems to be a common misconception about the term intimacy as most people associate it only with sex. But intimacy is about openness, mutual love and respect, and willingness to share.

How do you know if you are trapped in such a situation and is there anything you can do to save your marriage?

Reasons for Lack of Intimacy

There are a lot of factors that can contribute to lack of intimacy in marriage. After you get over the first few years of excitement right after the wedding, some couples go through difficulties involved in raising kids, financial issues, career changes, and many more.

It does not necessarily mean that you have “fallen out of love” with your spouse, but frustration, stress, exhaustion, anxiety, and having kids can take a toll on couples emotionally and physically.

Maybe you have grown distant from each other, but you are actually in the same situation as your spouse. Another factor that most people refuse to acknowledge is that attraction to the partner will change as we age.

Maybe age has not been kind to your husband or your wife has not gotten her body back after having kids. But you need to remember that love is above physical attraction. If you married that person, surely it was more than just for the good looks.

Signs of Lack of Intimacy

Maybe you feel as if you don’t talk as much as you used to. Perhaps work and other matters has kept you from spending more time with each other. Distance can be the first sign that the excitement has fizzled out. Lack of transparency about your feelings can also create cracks in your marriage.

Do you still find time to talk about what happened at work and how you’re feeling? When was the last time you listened to each other’s stories and complaints? Perhaps only one of you is sharing their experiences but the other is keeping their distance. Failing to share common things with each other can also mean you have grown distant.

When was the last time you watched a movie together? Do you still send each other sweet text messages? Do you even have common hobbies? Do conversations always end up in fights? Emotional distance manifests in lack of the ability to open up confidently to your partner. Physical intimacy is just as important because it is an extension of emotional intimacy.

What to Do About It

Raising a family together can be tough, even things that seemed easy at the beginning of your life together. Yes, work and parenting are exhausting, but remember that other couples have made it through successfully because they tried.

Discuss this with your spouse to try to find a solution. There is no one formula to a successful marriage but most success stories have one thing in common: they chose to stay together. Do not be afraid to talk to a marriage counselor if needed.

Are you getting ready for your first date, but you have no idea how to pick the right restaurant? Making a good impression on your date by choosing a relaxing place with good food can leave lasting memories that you can share with your kids when they go on their first date, too.

Here are some ideas to help you pick the right restaurant.

Check the Location

If you want to go to a restaurant with a nice view, but your date will have to travel for hours to get there, then find another place for your first date. Find a restaurant that’s easy to get to and that’s not too far out of the way. Consider your date’s schedule and how he/she will get home if you’re planning to stay late after dinner. Save the restaurant with the nice view for later dates.

Make Sure the Food is Great

Maybe you’re the type who likes to try out different cuisines, but have you considered what your date’s preferences are? What type of food does he/she like? And most importantly, is he/she allergic to or intolerant of certain food or is not allowed to consume a specific food because of tradition or religion?

Asking your date about his/her preferences will be the easiest way to avoid an awkward first date, but if you are planning a surprise, make sure you research days ahead of the planned date. Avoid unusual restaurants with exotic cuisines; you can try those in your later dates As a precaution, you should always have a backup plan in case your date doesn’t like the menu.

Don’t Forget the Price

Make sure that you can afford most of the food on the menu. Remember that even if the date is supposed to impress the person, it’s not the bill he/she will be most concerned with, but your company.

Ask his/her friends about the usual restaurants and cafes he/she goes to and what he/she likes. If one of you feels out of place in a posh restaurant or if your partner feels uncomfortable eating street food, then you might have just blown off the opportunity.

Atmosphere is Everything

The atmosphere of the restaurant will also make a lot of difference, but don’t go to the most expensive restaurants in Singapore just because you’re looking for ambiance. Find something you are both interested in (that is why it’s important to research about your partner), such as the type of food, drinks, music, and other entertainment.

Your date’s personality should be at home with the location, so if your date likes to go to quiet restaurants, surprising him/her with a date at a bar with a live band might not yet be a good idea. You can take him/her there in your later dates.

Make the Necessary Preparations

Pick a restaurant that will take reservations, because you don’t want to end up waiting for hours just to get a table. There are a lot of restaurants that have their own website that you can check if you need to read the reviews, check the menu, and even book reservations.

Do you often wonder why the person you like does not share the same ideals, and feelings as you? Here is your guide to the reasons behind your dilemma.


  1. You’re not his type. At this stage, no amount of flirting or pleasing him would make him like you. He’s made his choice there is no changing that. A “NO” in a man’s world will always remain as a “NO.”


  1. You’re too clingy. During the first days of getting to know a guy, he would want the attention but when the days progress don’t get too attached, guys hate it when a woman tries too hard. If he wants you, you don’t need to chase him, he doesn’t require being chased, and he’ll come to you when he wants to. Be patient.


  1. You’re easy to get. Do not be constantly available. You are not obliged to reply to his texts nor answer his calls immediately. Be convenient enough to say no. It will only make him want you more. This is your goal: To make him chase.


  1. You talk too much. Guys hate it when you run out of topics to talk about because you’ve been blabbering all night on your first date. If this is the case, you won’t get a second date even if you begged for it. One tip: Go with the flow. A guy wants a smooth and enjoyable conversation that requires his participation too.


  1. He’s gay. We should consider all the possibilities. There is the possibility that you like the same people, men. In this case, there’s nothing wrong with you or him, you just like different things. Accept it and move on.


  1. He sees you as a friend. Accept the fact that he got used to the reality that you are his friend. He doesn’t want to ruin the friendship. It’s easier to play your part as his friend so that maybe one day he’ll see you in a different light and eventually ask you out.


  1. He likes someone else. The hard part about this is the “someone else” being your best friend. Now, that is a blow. But, what most people don’t realize is the best friend always gets the man, eventually through time. Our advice is: Stay who you are, don’t change yourself to be somebody you’re not. If he’s destined to be with you, he will be in the end.