Is Lack of Intimacy Troubling Your Marriage?

It is not surprising that lack of intimacy is the fourth most common reasons for divorce in Singapore because it is an essential part of any marriage. However, there seems to be a common misconception about the term intimacy as most people associate it only with sex. But intimacy is about openness, mutual love and respect, and willingness to share.

How do you know if you are trapped in such a situation and is there anything you can do to save your marriage?

Reasons for Lack of Intimacy

There are a lot of factors that can contribute to lack of intimacy in marriage. After you get over the first few years of excitement right after the wedding, some couples go through difficulties involved in raising kids, financial issues, career changes, and many more.

It does not necessarily mean that you have “fallen out of love” with your spouse, but frustration, stress, exhaustion, anxiety, and having kids can take a toll on couples emotionally and physically.

Maybe you have grown distant from each other, but you are actually in the same situation as your spouse. Another factor that most people refuse to acknowledge is that attraction to the partner will change as we age.

Maybe age has not been kind to your husband or your wife has not gotten her body back after having kids. But you need to remember that love is above physical attraction. If you married that person, surely it was more than just for the good looks.

Signs of Lack of Intimacy

Maybe you feel as if you don’t talk as much as you used to. Perhaps work and other matters has kept you from spending more time with each other. Distance can be the first sign that the excitement has fizzled out. Lack of transparency about your feelings can also create cracks in your marriage.

Do you still find time to talk about what happened at work and how you’re feeling? When was the last time you listened to each other’s stories and complaints? Perhaps only one of you is sharing their experiences but the other is keeping their distance. Failing to share common things with each other can also mean you have grown distant.

When was the last time you watched a movie together? Do you still send each other sweet text messages? Do you even have common hobbies? Do conversations always end up in fights? Emotional distance manifests in lack of the ability to open up confidently to your partner. Physical intimacy is just as important because it is an extension of emotional intimacy.

What to Do About It

Raising a family together can be tough, even things that seemed easy at the beginning of your life together. Yes, work and parenting are exhausting, but remember that other couples have made it through successfully because they tried.

Discuss this with your spouse to try to find a solution. There is no one formula to a successful marriage but most success stories have one thing in common: they chose to stay together. Do not be afraid to talk to a marriage counselor if needed.